Honest moment...

You ever just wanted to be saved? Saved from the pain that you're use to. The pain is so normal, it's a cope. It's like the sickness is the cure. You're afraid of what's right, yet, the wrong is so addicting because you're familiar with it. How long will you lie to yourself? How long will you settle? Who leads the blind? Who cares for the souls that care too much? Who helps, "the help". Words mean nothing to those who aren't connected. They don't understand that the tongue is powerful. The power of the universe and frequencies, the vibrations of love. Do you live in wholeness, or is your walk filled with selfishness instead of selflessness? Do you know what it feels like to disappear daily in darkness without a spoken word of love received? Can you grasp the ache of a soul that feels alone, in a world filled with people? Who dares to be light, in someone's dark times? Perhaps you know a box filled with jewels are worthy, but none want ownership of such a rare commodity. How do you make logic of that? How does one not want to partake in greatness? What is love? How can you want love so badly, yet, ask of its being? Suffocating in ideas of what it is, to only not know of its existence, because you've never experienced pure mutual euphoria. To be saved, is to be loved. God is love. Jesus saves, and those that walk in his love are light. I'm tired of being in the dark, will you lead me, and be my light? 

This opened up some feelings today. Two minutes of pure bliss. Listen...

Realization

So what now....

What's the plan girl? 

You have your options and your plan didn't go accordingly.

What's the plan girl?

Did you have back up?

Now you know, that life is simply trial and error. 

Nothing goes accordingly to the plan, and there is no right way, for there are multiple paths and perceptions of this world. 

Happiness and success is defined at your own expense, and experiences. 

So what's the plan? 

Now that you've hurt, and you've seen some of the world, do you wish for the things you did once before?

What changed, if anything?

What's the plan girl?

Cause you only get one shot at this, and tomorrow isn't promised. So I ask...

What's the plan girl?

You realize there is no plan....

Because you know nothing. 

There are no re-do's

So why did you plan in the first place?

What were you trying to accomplish???????

You didn't stick to the manual...

And now you realize that all of life's purpose has nothing to do with your plan, but has everything to do with the world.

So what's the plan for the world?

What's your purpose?

What are you seeking?

When all along, you asked yourself what the plan was...

You should've be asking:

What am I doing? 

Sobriety

Just tired of the waves moving this boat...

An uneasiness comes over me, over stimulating me with unhappiness. 

Maybe it's not real for you.

This is a repetitive familiar feeling.

What's worst?

Experiencing truth, and never being able to grasp it, or never knowing the truth at all, when you seek it so desperately? 

Am I paying truly for my sins?

Is this infinite karma?

Cause if hell is worst than this, I would die twice in spirit.

I want to go crazy, cause I'm already there.

Might as well show what I feel.

When you've had all the flavors, which one becomes your favorite?

Or do you beget greed, and all flavors are recycled and indulged in circulation? 

Maybe you don't feel obligated to choose, because you don't need me like I think.

Maybe my perception is blinded by my own needing.

Am I selfish, or righteous?  

This isn't mutual. The scale is too high in polarity.

I'm screaming in the dark, and you aren't willing to be light, when I need you. 

Because if you were, by all means necessary, there would be an us.

We are not joint.

We are apart.

Literally.

We are apart.

I have to shake this. I have to rehab this addiction, because there is no fixing unless you're mine.

But I guess that's the issue.

I don't own you.

Love isn't ownership.

So this is false.

This is a drug.

And drugs aren't healthy. 

I need to be clean.

I need to get you out of my system...

  

The discovery

When I looked up, no one was there.

When I looked for a reply, there were no answers.

When I fell to my knees, others judged and loved to see me down.

They wanted me weak, like the last days of man.

Like the breath of a dying prey.

They wanted my heart to feel sorrow,

Like the death of a beloved soulmate.

Why do you curse me with evil spirits that do not know of love? 

Why do you punish your child?

Have I not a heart of righteousness?

I thought I knew love; man is stupid.

You strengthen me, and I was blind to discipline. I disobeyed thee, countless times. 

I lacked the understanding of true love.

True enlightenment.

Ignorance was bestowed upon me, due to selfishness. 

My father, your mercy has no measurement.

Your grace is like the fine thread of golden infinity.

Your love loops forever in wholeness, and your ways are beyond grateful.

Father of many names; Mercy, thank you.

You allow me to fly, but never let this bird die.

Why you wanna fly back bird?

My destination is in your hands, and you knew this all along.

They said: you ain't never gonna fly...

How dare I question the magnitude of your plan.

Who are they, compared to you? 

I am foolish to even question your ordained purpose!?

Bound; I fall to your glory, with thanks of the understanding that I am nothing without you. 

What purpose do I serve without the lord? 

For who is more great than you?

Rhetorical questions I ask, knowingly that you are all.

The beginning, the end, the love of my life.

You hold my breath, and death, but all redemption.

Spared is the scorn.

Who can find another like you? 

You are it.

The definition itself.

You are the most High.

You are love.

You are everything. 

The Plea

True torture is knowing the one you love, and settling. 

Why won't you fight for me?

Why do we settle, when our hearts connect instantly and twin flames burn brightly, despite  our distance? 

We remind each other that we are not what we see, but can feel what we are. 

Your energy is draining me, cause you're fighting what's natural. 

This love is covering a multitude of mistakes, and forgives all. 

I need you to be strong, and not torture me. 

Don't torture us. 

Lust is lies. 

You don't lie to me. 

I don't lie to myself.

That genuine soul of yours is recognized and appreciated. Strong, yet dangerous you are to have played on this devil's playground. 

I feel your roots implanted in my garden, yearning for the sprout.

Won't you let my light shine, in your darkness, and allow the rays to raise awareness of this lovely bliss. 

Damn. 

When we're communicating it feels like prayer. All always ends in forgiveness, even when we don't understand...

....but what I do understand is, that this is real, but you won't let it live....

Conscious

This black hole 

Whispers truths that haunt my daily mental 

Emptiness 

Embarrassment 

Disappointment. 

How dare you be ungrateful when you have all your limbs intact...

How dare you speak one negative word, when you breathe clean air, and speak clear from the comfort of a bed?

Your ability to type, is of the essence of a working brain...

The simplicity of life, do you not agree is no where near worthless?

Or do your selfish wants overcrowd your appreciation for the comfort of the necessities that you have?

My child, do not let your eyes blind your soul...

Have you not appreciated the rhythm, blood flow, and repeated in sync beat of your heart?

Don't you know, instantly your blessings can be paused indefinitely?

Why do you complain of such pettiness, when life is in the spec of your breath?

Who are you trying to please, if your thanks aren't unto life?

What more do you yearn for?

What more must you seek to become whole? 

You have forgotten your roots.

You've manipulated your mind to man's power.

Stop complaining.

The breath should be used to speak of love, and appreciation.

The people are only smart, when they realize, they know nothing.

Become free again, and never turn back .

Vibrate higher. 

Survival

frustrated
feeling trapped
yet free.
how does one, explain the colors she sees in a black and white picture?

how does one give energy to the dead?
I can tell you don't know what to do.
Though it might hurt, I'm going to tell you the truth.
....at least most of it.
the rest, you have to seek.

I wish, we could share energies.
...need me like the air you need to breathe.
you're saying it's too late, like I had a curfew with you.

seems like music appears to be the only expression for communication for my feelings?
Though I'm rarely feeling...
it's nice to know, those emotions, that are suppressed, can be expressed.

I wish...
I had more for you,
but this is it.
I don't think I can live with this...
....it can't get anymore real, than this...

what does a caged tiger think on a daily basis?
no one cares,
but dares not to get close, do to fear.
they would rather admire the beauty from the outside,
but not truly understand the inside...
the results of the cage,
the effect it may cause...
but when that beauty turns into a disaster...
and snaps...
it is killed.
never understanding,
that it was truly...
indeed...
a beast.
.....an animal...
..............................of nature..
..............................................that was designed to be free.

caged am I.
with all the resources around...
but caged...
...to the systematic chains of these people...
frustrated.
not being understood.
admired.
but not wanted, or needed.
alone, I survive.

How to Enjoy Being Alone!

LYRICS: Tory Lanez•N.A.M.E

Girl it's obvious you got

Some problems
It's obvious you got some issues
But if God sent me

All in your life

It's obvious I'm here
To fix you
When I can't go no longer
I need someone stronger
To hold on to get through
And I will stay by your side
Girl you know I'm gone ride
Come to your rescue

Perception

sitting at this desk
wondering...
what motivates the wind to blow against the trees and grass?
sitting here at this desk, wondering why must I promote my art...
why aren't others just as enthused as I to wonder of new beings?
what really matters...

sitting here at this desk, noticing the walls are plain, without life, beige and colorless...
who chose this color?
did they not think of color temperament for the work place?
who cares for the souls that care?

I see these white flowers from my desk...
they seem to be the only that have bloomed in the bristle.
thriving in such a mess...all I can see around them are sticks, and naked trees.
still, they give life, and are seen, in such an unattractive space.
why are they the only in sight?
they have brought upon a peace to my view...
we share a common life.
we share a common aura.
we share a common loop.

this view changes things.
this view is now appreciated.
I begin to love this view.
I begin to appreciate the bristle,
it allows the flowers to thrive.
to show...
to be seen...
it is beautiful.
it is life.
it is me.
it is I.
thriving.
shining.
living.

Just a Nobody with a Problem that You Don't Need to Know of

Just a Nobody with a Problem that You Don't Need to Know of





Check out this blog!!!! I loved her instantly!!!

Lord GOD, I just want to say...

Thank you. Thank you for your mercy, when I am stupid, selfish, hard headed, and mean. Thank you for your grace, when I have anger and hate in my heart. Thank you for a brand new start each day. Thank you for a second chance, and thank you for bringing me through always, and never leaving me. Thank you for curing me. Thank you for good health. Thank you for bringing me through my worst fears in life. Thank you for keeping me sane. Thank you lord. Thank you for making me wiser, and stronger. Thank you for my gifts, even when I feel some times it's a curse. Thank you for comforting me, when I'm lonely, and touching my soul when I feel unworthy. Thank you for your love, and for keeping me believing in love, because you are love, and love conquers all. Thank you for my breath, and for allowing me to birth life into this world. Thank you for my daughter and for my family, and for the people that love me. Thank you for showing me to see things in different lights, and for changing my perception, and allowing me to grow. Thank you for speaking to me. Thank you for teaching me, and forcing me to be patient. Thank you for what you're going to do, and for always delivering and keeping your promises. Thank you for everything. Thank you God. Thank you for your love, it's so amazing. It keeps me praying, it keeps me warm, even when I want to be cold hearted. Thank you for your power!!! Thank you, I can't thank you enough!!!! Selah!!!

References for The foundation; friendship

Proverbs 17:17 

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

1 Corinthians 15:33 

Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

Hebrews 10:24-25 

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

1 Peter 4:8-10 

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace:

Romans 1:12 

That is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith, both yours and mine.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!

Hebrews 13:5 

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Proverbs 27:5-6 

Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

Psalm 55:13 

But it is you, a man, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend

Philippians 2:20 

For I have no one like him, who will be genuinely concerned for your welfare.

FIRST REACTION - The Life Of Pablo (Kanye West)

YOOOO!!!

I LOVE THIS GUY!!!

THIS WAS PERFECT.

IN MY HEAD, WE ARE FRIENDS!!!

SPREAD YOUR LIGHT!!!!

VIBE.

Be confident in yourself, especially when no one is looking!

NEW TOPICS TO RESEARCH. EDUCATE YOUR MIND.

1. HUMAN CLONING
2. FALLEN ANGELS
3. THE ORIGIN OF WHITE PEOPLE AND ALIENS 
4. ANNUNAKI, ELOHIM NEPHILIM, ANCIENT GIANTS, REPTILIANS, THE VRIL SOCIETY, AND THE HOST
5. THE SECRET ABOUT ANTARCTICA, AND FLAT EARTH.
6. LIES FROM NASA
7. ADMIRAL BYRD AND ANTARCTICA
8. FIRMAMENT - THE UNBREAKABLE GLASS CEILING
9.  OBAMA EXPOSED
10. THE BOOK OF ENOCH

EFFORT AND FAITH

Greetings great people. 

As I sit here, and listen to my music, and vibe, I just smile.

I thank God so much for where I am, and how he has brought me through this thing called life.

I have learned that every choice that we make is so important to our life,

but I have witness God's mercy and grace, more now, then ever.

When my heart is filled with anger, and frustration, he always shows me, that if I just worry less, and trust more in him, that all that needs to be, will be.

I am learning this every day, it is easy to say worry less, but there are certain things we must understand in this world, before we can actually start to live in this truth.

He who angers you, controls you....that shit is true as hell, lol.

Sometimes, we just need to do what we need to do, and I say this all the time.

It was recently put to the test, when I had to make some financial choices, and though it was truly bittersweet, the reward was beyond what I asked for.

I want to encourage everyone, that anything is possible. The key to getting what you need, is effort and patience.

Patience, I have prayed for, and it is funny, because you should be careful in your prayer.

He will give you what you need, just sometimes, not in the way you want it.

again....

Needs vs. Wants

though I get frustrated, I can say that I am in a way better position than I was last year, and I am in CONTROL of MY life.

when you understand too, that you can not control others, you will be more happy as well.

you can not control your boss, or coworker, or mate.

DO NOT LET THESE PEOPLE STEAL YOUR JOY, OR DETERMINE WHAT IT IS THAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO. PROTECT YOUR ENERGY, SO YOU CAN RECEIVE WHAT GOD HAS FOR YOU.

I was so miserable from what others had done, said to me, and their actions, but recently, I woke up, and decided, that I am going to choose my mood, I am going to protect my energy, I am going to protect my peace, and I am going to make shit happen.

If not you, than who?

I will speak my mind, and allow others to do what they will with the information I give them.

I do not get upset at how they react or feel, especially if it hurts my feelings.

yes, it will be frustrating when you start to practice it, but when you feel that negative feeling come on, ask yourself, why is it, that you feel like that...

and then, change it.

become the greatest alchemist, that you can be.

turn all your negativity into positive vibes.

practice this until it becomes habitual.  

nothing great comes easy, and I am realizing this.

Take a chance.

Go for what you know belongs to you.

that job

that love interest

that car

success is your own definition, and it happens now.

success is waking up everyday

going hard

another day

chasing your dreams

loving

speaking

being

that is true success.

if you believe that God will put you exactly where you are suppose to be and will also show you mercy like no other.

HAVE FAITH!!!!!

I hope this message speaks to many beings today!!!!

NEVER GIVE UP!!!!

SELAH.

Clueless

Why won't you take a chance? 

Why won't you dance? 

Even if you don't know how...

Why won't you break your stance? 

What are you afraid of?

Is this something you even want?

What do you even think of?

When you're smoking that joint...

What is on your mind?

What does your soul feel?

Why are you truly guarding those emotions?

Has your heart even healed? 

Are you stuck in the past?

Thinking things will not last?

Are you basing the present on mistakes, and think we might clash?

Are you in love with someone else?

Am I getting the wrong idea? 

What is it that you truly want, cause nothing seems to be clear?

Do you need a friend?

Do you need prayer? 

Do you want to be in love?

Or you just need someone there? 

Are you mad at the world?

Do you feel abandoned?

Do you not trust me?

Or feel people lack the understanding...

That you too are human,

And don't like to be played with? 

Are you tired of settling, 

and feel complacent? 

Do you feel whole?

Do you feel alone?

Do you feel out of place?

Or do you feel at home? 

Do you believe what they say,

Or do you just listen and pretend?

Do you even believe in love enough,

To try this again?

What is it that you want?

What is it, that you need? 

I'm asking all

These questions...to know if it's really me. 

Value

Many times in our life, the road less traveled is a very lonely one, but a very fulfilling one. If you knew at the end of the road, your dreams and goals where there...but the road revealed that everything you feared, was standing in the way, would you still take it? 

The funny thing about the truth is it can't be tainted nor changed.

It is, what it is.

Many times in my life, people have tried to tell me, who I am, what I will never be, or was just plain jealous. I never understood because I tried so hard to be nice, and understanding, and logical, and to me, it would all backfire.

I wanted people to love and like me, and see my greatness in which I believed in myself....

Well it seemed to feel like it did, for a little while, like they would love me, or like me, but everyone started falling out of my life....

I begin to wonder why, and started analyzing myself....

I had to be the issue right???

....but now I realized, in just the last 6 months that it was me staying true to myself and cleansing my space. 

I was protecting my peace and didn't understand it. 

The more you stay true to yourself, and don't mind humiliating yourself for your truth,the closer you will be to your passion, goals, and will live a happier life. 

You might not be where you want to be in life, but you can live in truth, and truth always wins and puts you in a righteous place. 

James 5:16 

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

Psalm 34:19

The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all;

Psalm 37:16

Better the little that the righteous have than the wealth of many wicked;

Humiliation for truth, isn't really humiliation. It's humbling yourself, and allowing yourself to feel emotion, and learn. It is gaining knowledge and letting your light shine. When you let your light shine, you walk in love, love changes your perception on things. 

So the one person that use to piss you off, you feel sorry for them now, because you understand, they can't comprehend just yet, thier own truth, and what it means to truly love and live.

 When you're in control, you're truly in control.

You're  able to explain why it is you do everything. You can be honest with yourself. You can find out your needs. You can make choices that benefit you, instead of hindering you, or hurting you. You can see people for who they truly are. 

I challenge everyone who's reading this to start asking yourself why more often to your actions, instead of why, of what's going on with others.

Remember, you are the only one in this world that you can truly control. Once you control yourself, it is there you can spread your light and influence others. Everything you do, do it out of love, because love conquers all.